Monday, August 20, 2012

Adult Post: 5 Thing You Don't Put in Erotic Romance

I. . .well my friend reads loads of paranormal erotic romance! People who don't read these novels thinks there are no limits. Anything goes.

They're WRONG!

There are defintly things that should never ever be written in an erotic romance scene. Author Louisa Bacio is here to tell us those five things.

First, check out her hot new novel!

5 Things You Don't Put in Erotic Romance

by Louisa Bacio

Sad when given this topic, how quickly these five items flew out of my brain. Well, all except for #5, which comes courtesy of the man in my life.

1) Passing Gas –

We call them “fluffies” in our household, and never the crude other F word. Maybe in a romantic comedy, but when the hero’s straining from pumping exertion, ummm … no. Not sexy.

2) Douching after Sex –

I haven’t seen feminine deodorant products since the olfactory-offending companies used to give away free samples when I was in junior high and high school. Why do they gotta teach girls that your private area is stinky?

3) The hero/heroine’s parents having sex –

I’m all for more mature, mom lit. I appreciate realistic fiction but do I want to see a sex scene from the point of view of the hero’s mom? No-no.

4) Sex in Animal Form –

Do you want to be taken by a were-dragon while in animal form. Ouch! This one’s more of a general no-no included in most writer’s guidelines, and it falls under “bestiality.”

5) “Sweet Tits” –

We all know that men can be crude, but we want a little bit of the softer side. A guy recently hit on a friend at a bar, and his pick-up line was “I want to fuck the shit out of you.” I’m sorry, but I think a bit too literally. Give me the fantasy dialogue, and yeah, he didn’t get any.

Thanks so much for hosting me today, and for the bodacious topic. Hopefully, it’s not too much to handle!


  1. They are all so eeky. I don't want to read them in any romance. lol

  2. Nope! Never in a romance! Thanks for hosting me, and for the killer topic!

  3. I wouldn't even want to read about those things in erotica, let alone erotic romance.

    Awesome list.

  4. Omg yes...I so agree with these. I so hate to see my romance. The word just drives me batty. None of those things are erotic by any means.


  5. Hee, hee. You can see I had fun with this list! Anything missing?

  6. Great post Louisa, I always wonder what to do with the condom!!

  7. Kim -- you're so right! We always make a big deal of putting it on, and then it magically disappears!

  8. The thought of any of those things certainly spoils the mood for me. Sometimes men are crude, myself included and we say things without thinking. It's the old saying. Mouth in gear before mind is engaged. Think first,then use tact when you're speaking to a woman. She'll appreciate it. You're not talking to some other guy. As for condoms, well, if it is a paranormal romance story we're dealing in fantasy, maybe it just melts away and vanishes after doing its job. :) I don't think we need the details of disposal described. Just saying. lmao

  9. I'd like to add anything about tampons and maxipads.

  10. And I'd like to ban the following words:

    "private parts"

  11. GE and Joy -- total eww. I read a dark erotic mystery/horror story once, and they id'ed the victim by her discarded used tampon. I know ... ugh. But I remember it all these years later.

  12. I really have no comment....I think once tampons are brought in...what more can I say?

  13. What's wrong with "moist"? Come on! Moist is a great word.

    In my fantasy worlds, there are no STDs and no unplanned pregnancies (except those that are plot-worthy). Therefore, no condoms are required. :P

  14. Kenya -- I know, I didn't even go there!

    And Alicia, I think "moist" totally depending upon the subject-matter. ;-)

  15. Awesome post Louisa! Love it! :)