Rape Culture in Romance, good or bad?

I asked my husband to read the first 5 chapters of my work-in-progress. It's an Interracial Romance set in Tokyo. 

This is what he said, "Wow. You're writing improves with each book. It's like I'm in Tokyo. However, you should make the hero less Rapey."

I was blown away. "What the fuck? Rapey? Please explain this."

So he did. "You have this guy, invading the heroine's space upon meeting her, running his fingers through her hair, saying things that no rational male would say to any female he doesn't know, and. . .the guy is just creepy."


"No." I laughed. "That's romance."

"Hell no! That's rapey."

"Look. I've read tons of books where the Alpha Hero is a bit more than the typical guy."

"Then you've read a lot of romance novels with Rapey guys."

I'm a hard headed person so I made my darling husband act out the whole scene right there in our living room.

I was the heroine. He was the hero. 

Boom. 

We're in a Tokyo soapland (a brothel that bathes and provides sexual services to rich men). My hubby is a suspected yakuza gang leader. I'm a fast-talking fiction writer. 

We say the lines and do the actions.

The Results?

THE HERO IS RAPEY!!!

I'm totally creeped out.

What did I learn?

1- I need to re-write the freaking novel.

2- I should act out all scenes with my husband! 

What do I need to learn?

Dear god why did I find the hero so attractive. He was perfect when he lived in black and white on my laptop screen? Out in the real world, not acceptable.

but why was this jerk off acceptable in the story?

I have no idea. . .maybe I'm a sicko. . .maybe Rapey is in now. . .maybe I should change that. . .maybe I should not. . .

However, I'm not alone.

If you do a google search of the words "Rape. Hero. Novel" what you will get are TONS of goodreads lists and blog posts on many romance novels with rape in it.

Here's some of the lists with a link for all you naughty readers out there:

Romances with Forced Seduction or Rape by the Hero

Popular Rape by Hero Novels


...and we can't just let the guys have all the fun, can we? No way. Check out this great blog post by HeroesandHeartbreakers.com.

Waistcoat Rippers: Heroines that Rape the Heroes

So where am I going with discussion? 
I have no idea. 

I was just forced to realize that somewhere deep within my creative soul, I enjoy writing Rapey Heroes. I'm vowing to change this.

Why? 

I'm supposed to be a freaking feminist! Can feminists love Rapey Heroes? I doubt it.

but before I beat myself up, I need to understand why these novels are so popular and why have they captivated even me

I mean there are a whole bunch of women and men out there who enjoy a Rapey hero from time to time.

So now I'm asking you all to help me understand this fascination with Rapey Heroes. . 

Are you one of those readers that love a guy to go too far? 
Why or why not?  
How far is too far for a Rapey Hero?  
Would it be better if the Heroine raped the Hero?
Is Rape culture in romance, good or bad?

The Muse's Dream cast

Who are the people I envisioned when I wrote The Muse? 

There are tons of characters in the story. I decided to reveal the real inspirations for the four main characters in the novel.

Alvarez Castillo, the brother that's desperately trying to keep the whole family together as women die around him.

 Henry Cavill

Elle, the heart broken nude model who hopes to revive her career and discover herself with famous dark artist, Hex Castillo.

Krysten Ritter

Hex, the dark artist that sees the beauty of death and just wants to world to see it to.

a young Johnny Depp

Grandma, the supernatural wielder in a world with no magic. In her way she attempts to organize the events around her and her family, while triggering even more chaos in the process.

Lupe Ontiveros

Good Feminist Non-fiction

I read this book for a Feminist Theory class in college and it changed my life.

Seriously.

It made me think differently about being a woman. I knocked down several of my traditional notions of gender, motherhood, and even society after this book.

It leans more on the academic side, but very fascinating. If you ever have the time and want to ponder gender roles in society, this is the book for you.

Top 5 Crazy Performance Art Gifs

Peformance art is fun because it yanks the viewer out of their comfort zones and forces them to look at the world, an emotion, or anything in a very different light.

As I wrote the The Muse, I read, researched, and attended hoards of performance art. Some of it blew my mind. While a lot of it left me with my mouth open in shock. 

Here's my top 5 craziest performance art gifs 

Consider yourself cultured, after this viewing!! Lol. 

5. Milk Pour

4. Beauty Walk

3. Ice Cream

2. Playing with Knives

1.  ?????

Let's hope we've all been inspired from all of that! LOL!